Dating Online – what is an online profile?

When you find a dating site that you like, the next step is to fill in a few details about yourself. Most dating online websites call this your personal profile. This is simply information about you – who you are, what sort of person you are and what you are looking for. The first stage in creating a profile is to provide a verifiable email address. Verifiable means that it can be checked to see if it is a real (ie working) email address, and to confirm that it doesn’t belong to someone else. Dating sites do this by sending an email to the email address you provide, with a link back to their site. By checking your email and following their link, you verify your email address and confirm your account with the dating site.

Do I need an email account?

To register with any online dating site, you will need your own email account. I recommend setting up a new email account to use just for your dating emails, making it easier to keep things separate from your personal emails. This is also advisable if your main email address has your name, or part of your name in it - e.g. janebloggs@aol.com.

Setting up a new email address is relatively easy and in most cases you won’t need to come up with anything more than a name, a password and a security question. A few email providers will ask that your email be linked to your real address and real name. Most however, do not have these requirements.

As I've already said, it's a good idea not to use your real name. This might seem odd, but at some point you are going to be giving out your email to potential partners and until you have actually met them (and established that they’re not mass murderers, psychos or simply not the right person for you), it’s safer to keep personal information to a minimum. If you already have an email account, you’ll be familiar with the process of setting up a new one, but if you’re not too sure, or need a reminder, try my setting up an email page

Creating a profile

So now you’re ready to start writing your profile - right? But stop! It’s very easy to write a rubbish profile in your eagerness to get started. Follow these easy steps to get it right first time:

Take a look at the online form on the dating site you're interested in and think about what you might like to write. These forms come in all shapes and sizes – some are short and sweet, others are quite lengthy and can easily take an hour or so to complete. Sometimes you can skip through the various stages and get a good idea of the different sections first. Others must be completed before you can move on to the next section. Some sites use a questionnaire format, many have a tick-box set-up, or a simple blank space and a limited amount of characters.

“I’ve been on my own for years and am desperate for a man…”

“I’ve had a hard life and I don’t get on with people very well…”

Avoid phrases like:

“My friends say I’m…”

“I don’t know what to write for this bit…”

“I hate filling these things in…”

Spellin' granma and punk-u-ashon

One of the big no-no’s is poor spelling. Too many people don’t take time to check what they’ve written and end up with a profile full of spelling mistakes, grammatical errors and no punctuation. This creates an instant portrait of someone who either has poor literacy skills or who doesn’t care enough to do it properly. Avoid cliché’s, DON’T WRITE EVERYTHING IN CAPITALS, and never use text speak:

I gt on wiv ppl nd lv gd fn nd 2 rlx, but gt no tm 4 stpd ppl, f u wan no more, b gd f u gt n tch.

Beware!

Your personal profile is your social identity. By creating an online profile, you show something of yourself to the Internet community – in this case via Internet dating sites. You also have several “personal spaces” - your personal space is partly private and partly public. How much (or how little) you reveal can vary enormously from a simple email address to photos, website links and many other personal details.

On social networking sites such as Facebook, Blogger etc, people often use their real names. However, the nature of dating online can leave individuals open to abuse, therefore most people create an identity that cannot easily be traced to their real selves. (In reality of course, IP - Internet Provider - details and such like can be traced back to the computer used to access the site, so there can never be complete anonymity).

Here are a few tips to give you inspiration:

Taglines Most dating sites give you the space to write a tagline (or headline) along with your photo, as a sort of brief introduction. Lots of people write things such as: “Looking for my soulmate” or “Searching for the right one” Try to come up with something a bit different, without being crass or over-the-top. Consider using a quotation, or a line from a film or stage play. Also, think about who you are trying to attract, so don’t say anything that is likely to be a turn-off.

Be Interesting Make a list of all your good points and create something that sounds appealing. There are thousands of profiles that say things like “Love watching TV, reading, walking on the beach, nights in/nights out etc” Try and sound different or unusual - without exaggerating.

Don’t lie! Ever.

Check Your Profile This might sound obvious, but what you write – particularly your tagline – might not display quite the way you expected. Check your profile after it’s been submitted to see how others will see it. It’s amazing how many people put in the wrong age or height – and sometimes even the wrong sex!

What if I don't have a good photo?

If you're camera-shy, bashful or simply don't like having your photo taken, Get Over It! Don't even consider not including a photograph as part of your online dating profile. Think about it - in your search for a partner, are you likely to contact people who don't have a photo? Probably not. Why? - because if there isn't a photo, your first thought is probably going to be What's wrong with this person? Are they horribly disfigured? Do they have some reason for keeping their identity a secret? How do I know this person is genuine?

So if you don't have a recent photo of yourself that you're happy to have online, get someone to take one for you. Most mobile phones have built-in cameras and all digital cameras have some means of connecting them to a PC, so there's no excuse. If you need help with accessing or uploading your photos, click here.

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